The Worship of Nuit

“Oh, Light of Life in splendrous rapture of delight/Who fills my veins with life in majesty of might.” — Meral, 1982

How does one worship the Queen of Space? Liber AL vel Legis gives many clues, but it may take a lifetime before some of its words come to life as actual experience.

Certainly, one must start with love. This may be more than the love of one person for another (though this type of love can be a lesson in itself, even if it doesn’t last very long). Love covers other areas of life, and may mean love of one’s work or creativity, love for family and children, love for nature, and on and on.

But there is a further love that transcends all loves that we may know while wearing an earthly body. All love, of whatever kind is a training to experience this transcendent love. Beautiful words have been written to give us an idea of it. One should immerse oneself in such classics as Liber LXV or Liber VII to begin understanding the love for Nuit, and of Nuit for a human.

There is an intermediate step in this Way of Love. It is the Knowledge and Conversation of the Holy Guardian Angel. Students of Qabalah represent this step on the Tree of Life by the central sphere, Tiphereth. At this stage there are two entities, the aspirant and the Angel. Only above the Abyss do the two become one; but such enlightenment may not last long, for it is a state beyond human strength. The aspirant is soon thrown back into the sphere that represents the life’s work.

The first stirrings of the Angelic voice may come to us through intuition. If a person isn’t open to relying on this deep intuition, it may not be evident that the HGA can speak through the same voice. It is entirely possible to turn one’s back on such whisperings and inspirations, especially when one’s concerns are mostly materialistic, emotional, or intellectual; but the HGA’s lessons persist. If one becomes upset, unhappy, or miserable due to some behaviour, it is certainly the HGA dealing out “tough love” so that one will make changes.

All this I have observed in myself, and when trying to understand others. It provides preamble as I try to write of my own experiences with the HGA.

It was July 1, 1952, when my first acquaintance with the HGA occurred. I was raising my three children alone. Once they were in school, I was also in college, training to become an art teacher. I also had been typing Crowley manuscripts for Karl Germer so they would not become lost.

I was awakened by a light up my spine. I could vaguely understand that instructions had been given to me for some time before my awakening. What I could remember of this was the name of the HGA and His instructions to enumerate this name with the aid of the Hebrew alphabet. Understanding this name took quite a few years; but the voice never really left me after this incident. There have been many occasions when I had help from the voice when it was obviously needed. One goes on living a normal life, working and doing all the things to support oneself and one’s children. The voice of the HGA is not needed in everyday circumstances. But one must go on refining oneself and one’s reactions. One must study and learn about magical and mystical processes. “The God will not indwell a vehicle poorly prepared,” as the ultimate advice states. When major lessons or ordeals were needed, they were supplied in order to continue this growth and refinement.

Prior to this first awakening, I had been writing poetry inspired by various sorts of love that shadowed forth the major direction of my soul. Karl Germer thought that the K&C of the HGA happened in my case because I had a pure aspiration.

The event of the night, which I only too plainly described above, left me with such awe that I could scarcely speak of it without an inner trembling. It was six months before I could even write of it to Karl. Yet he knew from the tenor of my letters that this event surely must have happened. He therefore declared that I was at the Grade of 5=6 in the A∴A∴.

The poetry continued, for there is not much to say about such an experience in ordinary language. Also, many major contacts were vouchsafed me at various times. The most memorable of these was when I remembered my last death. It was like a vision, in that I was awake and conscious. I was in great pain in that former life, and was lying in bed in what must have been a garret (I could see the sloping roof and the beams above me). My bedclothes were quite dirty, for there had been no one to take care of me during this illness. Nor do I know what caused the pain, only that it was unbearable. Then the HGA appeared at my side. I left the body and the pain, and knew how intense and pure was the Angel’s love. Such intensity is never experienced in life, and there are no words to describe it. One can only know that love is the key to such awakenings, and that we are here on earth to learn about this love.

When humans love in this mundane life, too many expectations are usually attached to it. A person may want security, or a partner who will enhance one’s importance, or someone to manipulate to show one’s power. Human love is usually conditional: Perhaps it is a desire for children, or for companionship that does not fade away. Perhaps a person is afraid to be alone, and requires that someone always be at hand to give support through thick and thin. There may even be a desire for conflict and disastrous situations, allowing for strange cruelties and abuse; but here we have not love, but sexual sadism. Humans mix up the biological urges of sex with what they wrongly suppose is love. Liber Legis I: 41 is very adamant about this mistake as no coupling should be experienced unless there is love: “There is no bond that can unite the divided but love: all else is a curse. Accursed! Accursed be it to the æons! Hell.”

Love is an intoxication of the spirit, an expression of transcendent spirituality. Sex is related to the lower animal (bodily) instincts. Each person must learn to distinguish between them. Also, for persons incapable of love; sex matters usually predominate. This may lead to abuse of women and pornography. Unconscious forces gain greater power when repressed for too long. Ideally, sex should be an expression of love between two adults, taking on the higher aspects of spirituality. The Gnostic Catholic Mass is a very fine instruction as to the procedures to be followed.

Liber Legis teaches about love in every chapter. It would be well for the aspirant to study this Book very closely. Memorizing it is even better. One cannot experience the higher states of consciousness without the power of love. The love of the HGA is unconditional, and is so intense it could easily burn through an undeveloped soul. That this does not happen is because the HGA is mindful of his client’s weakness, and will apply a remedy that will lead to a strengthening of the aspirant.

Learning how to love, what it means to one’s very essence as a star, is the major lesson for humans today. When love has been purified — when one learns to love without conditions, and with fervor, purity, and intensity — then one is prepared to love Nuit as we are exhorted to do in Liber Legis.

I feel there is no need for me to write more in this space, for many of my poems and other writings have been inspired by the HGA. I, as a small human, do not take credit for all that I have written, said, or done. I have simply tried to follow instructions as best as I can. Yes, when one has this sublime guidance, one must obey -and one does so from the most pure states of love.